Hello, Its Been Awhile

Hello Everyone..

I'm back to my blog. I wasn't sure I wanted to write anymore only because I am just not great at writing. But after much consideration, yes I have decided to continue writing. 

So lets see what has been happening in my life lately. Not a lot to be honest. My dad decided to give up driving and sold his car. He just gets too tired from the former blood clots. So we are down to one car now. I do most of the shopping. My dad still will drive himself to the doctor, but that's about it. 

Also, I am officially registered for school again. I have not been in school for while. And I am excited to get back to it. I also broke down and applied for Financial Aid. I do not know how much aid I will get. But I registered anyway. 

Still have not found part time work. Its so frustrating. But I am still hopeful. I am probably going to be giving up my painting. I have not been very profitable. I have sold a few pieces. But nothing since about a month ago. I sold some Christmas ornaments. It is what it is. Don't get me wrong I love it and I am very good at it. But that's not going to sell paintings. 

I am doing a vlog on YouTube for Live Your Life Like Its Chocolate now. Its just about my life and trying to live a positive life. That is how I want my life to be--happy and positive. No negativity for this gal anymore. It only brings you down. 

Ive been too much living in fear of my own shadow and fear of offending people, fear of disappointing people and not living my own life for me. That stops NOW!! And I am done with fake friends and non existent friends. Friendship is a two way street with me. If you cant meet me half way, then it is time for me to go. I don't do one sided friendships, never have never will. 

As I said on Facebook the other day. I am doing to live my life for ME and if no one likes, well do damn bad. 

The reason I started this blog in the first place was to live a good life, a happy life and be more positive. I haven't been doing much of that in the past and its time for a change. 

Thanks for reading..

Until next time..

Estelle

Today Is A New Day

So today is a new day...

I applied for disability a few months ago due to my Spinal Stenosis. Yesterday I got the notice of my denial. At first, I was "ok well I guess God has a different plan for me". This morning I woke up sad, stressed and afraid of what is going to happen. And I cried.  They based my denial on a job I held 9 years ago. 

But now, I'm like, maybe this a blessing in disguise for me. Prior to this, all I did was lay in bed and watch TV or play games on my cell phone. My life didn't exist. I have sat here thinking is that the life I really want for myself. The answer is NO! 

So now after shaking off my sadness and despair I have made some decisions. I am going to try and go back to work. I have to admit I am scared. I have only had one official job in the past job in the past 9 years. I don't know how long it will take me. But my goal is to work part time and finish my college education. 

This blog will continue. But I also want to start a vlog, as well. The vlog will be different. Maybe a travel vlog. What do you think?

The only thing I know today, at this very minute is that my life has new meaning. It has this new meaning because that is the direction I want it to take. No matter the pain. I need to live the best life I can for the remaining years I have left. To make it count. 

Until next time..